Posts by Laura K. Schenck, Ph.D., LPC
5 Essential Conflict Management Skills
“You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.” – Indira Gandhi When conflict occurs, the first thing to focus on is how to take responsibility for your own role in the situation. Since the only thing we truly have control over is our own behavior, it is important to first turn inward to focus on…
Read More
How to Find Balance Between Change & Acceptance
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” – Carl Rogers Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) rests upon the idea of balancing and comparing two seemingly oppositional things. This is at the heart of the word dialectic. Dr. Marsha Linehan, creator of DBT, explains that dialectics is…
Read More
Decrease Stress with Progressive Muscle Relaxation
“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” – Chinese proverb Relaxation exercises are much more specific and intentional than simply deciding to “relax” by lounging on the sofa after a long day of work. Progressive muscle relaxation allows us to mindfully focus on different muscle groups of the body. …
Read More
Are You an Effective Communicator?
“Talking is like playing the harp; there is as much in laying the hands on the strings to stop their vibration as in twanging them to bring out their music.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes Conflict happens in relationships. As with most things, interpersonal conflict exists on a continuum from very mild to very severe. When…
Read More
Negotiate Effectively: Classic Compromise Solutions
“Better bend than break.” – Scottish proverb In yesterday’s post, we learned how to use the dialectical behavior therapy tool of R-A-V-E-N to prepare ourselves for effective negotiation. When we are in a situation involving conflict or even mild disagreement, it is important that we feel confident in our ability to compromise. When we compromise,…
Read More
How to Negotiate Using R-A-V-E-N
“Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud.” – Hermann Hesse When we experience conflict with others, we must remember that there are two people involved who each have valid needs. Dialectical behavior therapy includes a focus on interpersonal effectiveness, which provides us with tools to navigate our interactions with…
Read More
Top 10 Obstacles to Listening
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” – Epictetus Listening is much more than just a passive process of receiving information – it is active. When we choose to listen actively, we seek to fully understand what it is that the other person is…
Read More
Mindfulness vs. Mindlessness
“Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee.” – Montaigne We are mindful when we are in a “mental state characterized by nonjudgmental awareness of the present moment experience, including sensations, thoughts, bodily states, consciousness, and the environment, while encouraging openness, curiosity, and acceptance” (Hofmann et al., 2010, p. 169). This…
Read More
Self-Efficacy: The Power of Believing You Are Competent
“It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.” – Edmund Hillary Self-efficacy is defined by psychologist Albert Bandura as “people’s beliefs about their capabilities to produce designated levels of performance that exercise influence over events that affect their lives.” This translates into a belief not about what we believe our skills to be, but…
Read More
Identify Strengths: A Multimodal Approach to Wellness
“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in our own sunshine.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson We all have strengths in different areas of our lives, if only we are willing to look for them. When we focus excessively on our weaknesses, we are not getting an accurate or comprehensive picture of…
Read More