Cognitive Defusion in a Nutshell
“People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.” – George Bernard Shaw Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) encourages people to “defuse” themselves from maladaptive patterns of thinking through a process called cognitive defusion. The idea is that we all have a tendency to over-identify with our thoughts, amplifying…
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Snap Decision? Use Feelings, Not Reason
“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson We are faced with a countless number of choices each day. We are often unaware that we are in fact making choices when we get into the habit of going through our regular daily routines. The truth is that each…
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Confront the Agenda of Emotional Control
“Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.” – William James When we experience emotional suffering, it is natural to want it to “stop.” There is often…
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Envy Can Be Good For You
“Our envy always lasts longer than the happiness of those we envy.” – François Duc de La Rochefoucauld Most of us have experienced pangs of envy at some point in life. It may feel like a knot in the pit of your stomach as one of your colleagues or peers receives praise or admiration. Perhaps you…
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Problem-Solve with Acceptance & Commitment Therapy
“I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.” – Mother Theresa Problems great and small can seem overwhelming when they are not mindfully examined and understood. You can take specific problem-solving actions that will result in problems becoming more manageable. When problems…
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How to Drink Moderately and Mindfully
“Drunkenness is temporary suicide.” – Bertrand Russell Choosing to alter your relationship with alcohol and drink moderately can be achieved through mindfulness and deliberate behavior modifications. Mindfulness allows you to become aware of your ongoing moment-to-moment experience. It is the opposite of “checking out.” When you choose to tune in to the present moment and tap…
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Use Your Inner Wisdom to Set Boundaries
“I draw circles and sacred boundaries about me; fewer and fewer climb with me up higher and higher mountains – I am building a mountain chain out of ever-holier mountains.” – Friedrich Nietzsche When we engage in behaviors that run counter to our values or how we see ourselves as people, the result is often…
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5 Ways to Gain Compliance to Your Requests
“If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.” – Oscar Wilde People don’t like to be told what to do. When we have requests that we would like to make of other people, the slightest hint of control or force is generally met with defensiveness…
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What Stands Between You & the Life You Want?
“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” – Henry David Thoreau Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) enlists people to identify their most cherished values, set goals in accordance with those values, and then begin to direct their behavior towards reaching those goals. One way of asking yourself a motivating question to…
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Mindfulness Exercise: Relationship Expectations
“Relationship is a mirror in which you can see yourself.” – Krishnamurti Difficulties in relationships often arise as a result of mismatched or unrealistic expectations. When we expect someone to behave in a certain way, we become attached to that expectation and become easily disappointed or frustrated if they do not act as expected. Expectations are…
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